An Ode to Self Care


Illustration by Iain Duffus

What is the best way to get in a circle of people that you want to be around without being too obvious or trying too hard? For instance, I want to surround myself with more people that I may find attractive in order to meet that potential someone. I feel like it’s the right time in my life.

You’re probably going to think I sound like your 6th grade guidance counselor when I tell you that the best thing you can do is to be authentic and be you. Forming new relationships and meeting new people can be trying, especially in the internet age where face-to-face communication is slowly becoming an anachronism. I usually find that when you are unapologetically you and organic in who you are people will want you to be in their inner circle.


I feel like often times my methods of dealing with stress have to do with satisfying myself sexually. In my past relationship that’s how I handled anything that troubled me. In your opinion do you think that’s a completely unhealthy way of dealing with the struggles of life?

While it’s not the most prudent defense mechanism against stress, it’s much better than drinking or an equally harmful vice. However, if you know this is how you react to stressors then you can begin steps to modify and change that behavior so it is no longer detrimental to you. I would suggest curbing that behavior with something like exercise or anything of the like that can be as physically rewarding as it is cathartic.

I recently met someone who I feel I connected with on a deep personal level and share oddly similar life goals and views with, and as a result would like to ask out. The problem is I don’t think she would ever feel the same and even if she did, we are both at a bad time in our lives to date with traveling and post-grad plans interfering with any dating. Should I risk ruining our possible best-friendship by asking her out, or just be content with being single and developing a close friendship?

Firstly, calm down and take a deep breath. I think it’s wonderful that you have met someone who makes you feel this way and I think you owe it to yourself to maybe bite the bullet and ask her out. Realistically, you listed some pretty reasonable stuff that could totally prevent you two from dating but you haven’t even tried yet. Read what you sent back to yourself, you shut everything down before it even had a chance to begin. Give it a try, you never know what might happen. I’ll even go as far as to say that if you two really are that close, even if she says no there’s a good chance you guys can still remain amicable even in the face of rejection.

If you’d like to send Shaun a question you can submit them via email at or anonymously at Lascivious-Witch.Tumblr.Com/Ask  

Shaun Jackson, Staff Columnist

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