An Ode to Self Care

Illustration by Iain Duffus

My ex says that he’s over me, truthfully I am just as over him, but whenever he sees me he is extremely resentful or rude toward me. I’m sorry, but that doesn’t indicate that you’re over me. Thoughts?

Honestly, navigating how to interact with an ex is one of the more tricky beginnings of being post-break up. It is near the end of 2017 and being petty is quickly and quietly going out of trend, so don’t stoop to his level. If he has a problem with you that he has not vocalized before or during the break up, that is completely on him. Don’t make his problems your problems. Get back in control of your life and emotions and don’t let his petulant attitude inhibit that process.

 

I’m having trouble breaking up with my boyfriend. I really care about him but it’s just not working. I don’t feel enough to say I love him. I’ve never had to break up with someone before. What’s the best approach?

The best approach is to let him down easily. Don’t lead him on and continue to waste his time and yours if this is the decision you know you want to make. Find time to sit him down and tell him how you feel, or more specifically, why you don’t feel for him. I’m always a fan of ending intimate things amicably, but deciding whether or not you want to see him or have him in your life at any point in the future is entirely up to you.

Is there something that you can suggest for someone who wants to stop over analyzing everything they do in life?

Firstly, calm down, being over-analytical about everything is nothing but torturous for your head. Take a deep breath and stop going a thousand miles a minute. I guarantee some of the things you do in life are going to be boring and obligatory and aren’t worth mentally straining yourself over. Let me tell you a secret: stop analyzing and worrying because your twenties are supposed to be messy and nonsensical at times because you’re still learning and figuring who and where you’re supposed to be and that’s okay. Don’t add on to the stressors and unnecessarily cloud your vision.

Should you always accept your friends despite their flaws? Even if those flaws involve things that are harmful to your own happiness?

Never knowingly and willingly keep someone around whose toxicity is permeating your life. Never allow that. Now, if the company you keep has flaws that they are knowingly cognizant of and these flaws harm themselves and their relationships and they have not acted to change or try to get better, they sound like terrible friends, and I would highly recommend cutting them off and giving a second thought to the company you keep.

 

Shaun Jackson 

Staff Columnist

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