Reality Check with Sadie Zarkin

Reasons why you’re single and how not to be

This Valentine’s Day, before you go spending all day in bed alone, eating the box of chocolates your mom sent you and watching Sex and the City reruns whilst contemplating the numerous and varied reasons you are without a lover, save yourself the effort: I’ve thought about it for you and listed them here.

1. You are uninteresting

Initial flirtation and physical attraction can only take a relationship so far. When it comes to a point where your partner asks you about yourself, you ought to have something to say!

Find a hobby, become involved with new things, read new books, experience new things and watch the news. You will not only be a better functioning member of society, but your partner is far less likely to be bored with someone they feel they are constantly learning from and exploring with than a person whose main appeal resides in their bone structure and flirtatious eyelash batting.

2. Your sneery hipster attitude

Let’s be honest, this is a ridiculous world and sometimes it is totally legitimate and comical to point out its insanity.

That being said, constant criticism of everything you encounter in your day is totally unnecessary, and a sure way to ward off any prospective love interests.

Although the humor of it all may draw two people together at first, after repeated and relentless whining, your future mate may begin to wonder, “when is all this spiteful judgment going to be directed at me?”

Before attempting to entwine your life with that of another, take some time to chill out. Accept that while there may be a long list of things that annoy you, it is totally unnecessary and downright unappealing to constantly bitch about it.

3. You play childish head games

Telling a person you are hanging out with an ex doesn’t make them want you more, it makes them angry with you. Sending passive aggressive text messages and leaving melodramatic song lyrics as your Facebook status are not cute allusions to your mood that make your lover want to rush to your side.

They are childish, confusing, and ineffective.

If there is something you want your mate to know, tell them. If something they do makes you upset, don’t assume they know that – explain it to them.

Although sending carrier pigeons and smoke signals has its appeal, being straightforward and honest is the most effective way to communicate. And of course everyone knows, communication is the key to any good relationship.

4. You hate yourself

Think of it like this: If you don’t like the person you are, why should anyone else?

While it is important for couples to be supportive of one another, it is very tiring to be in a relationship where one has to constantly reassure the other of their own worth. You have to remember to sell the idea of you!

When asked about your accomplishments, be proud of what you have done. Don’t obsess over your appearance, just rock the look you got. The confidence you exude will let other people know you think you are worth it, and a person they should want to dedicate some time to.

What it comes down to is: if you live your life in a way that you are proud of, treat the people around you the way you would want them to treat you, and know, in your heart, that you are awesome, sooner or later someone is going to agree with you.

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